The Things People Say...

People are stupid.

Okay, I shouldn't make such broad sweeping generalizations. Not ALL people are stupid, but a lot of them. OR, maybe it just seems that when it comes to my kids... people are stupid. Let me tell you how I came to this conclusion. So, Sunday, we were in the San Diego airport waiting to fly home. I had to change the Little Dude's diaper, which, I knew was bound to be a battle. Not only is he the wiggliest little worm, but he HATES having his diaper changed in public. Home -- no problem. Nasty, germy uncomfortable public changing table -- not so much. Can you blame the kid? As soon as I laid him down on the table he began screaming and trying with all his 24 pounds of might to free himself. I'm doing my best to wipe his booty with lightening speed, keep him from falling off the table and hide the stress in my voice with calming promises of "Mommy's almost done, baby..." when some woman walks up to me and says, "Oh, someone doesn't like that."

REALLY?! What gave it away? The red face? The ear-piercing screams? I mean, was it necessary for Captain Obvious to come over and point this out?

As I finished diapering the world's cutest little booty, I began thinking about all the stupid things people say in regard to my kids, motherhood, etc. These are the things people do and say that would only annoy a mother...

1. "What do you feed that kid?" I know, I know, you think you're being funny when you ask. But, FYI, 646 people have asked me the same thing... today. Come up with a new line or just shh...

2. "So, you're JUST a stay-at-home mom?" Not only is this stupid, but it's just rude! There is no "job" in this world more important than that of a mother!

3. Bringing your sick kid to the playground, the playdate, the library, nursery or anywhere near my kid. Few things give me the heebie jeebies more than a snotty-nosed kid wiping his/her green boogers on a slide/a book/my child, etc. OR watching that kid cough into his/her hand and then touching my child. If your kid is leaking out of any body oraphus or sounds like a seal/dog/or any other animal when coughing... keep 'em at home.

4. "Wow! You have your hands full." Maybe they wouldn't be full if you would stop staring and open the door for me instead of watching me try to keep the door open while maneuvering my double jogging stroller through it. Which leads me to...

5. "You've got a wide load there." Are you calling me fat? Or commenting on the size of my stroller?

6. "When are you going to have more?" I don't mind my close friends asking me this. I mean, we talk about it anyway. But when a stranger asks, it's a little out of line. How about this, I'll answer your question when you make your sex-life schedule public.

7. "You're going to fall/hurt yourself/crack your skull/etc. " Please don't create an irrational sense of fear in my three-year-old. Don't tell her she's going to break all her bones if she climbs up a slide or runs too fast around the playground. First of all, I'm right here watching her. Secondly, I'm her mom, I create the fear. HAHA :)

8. You worry too much. When my kids were little.... Yes, I know your kids weren't in car seats and you fed them lard. I know they watched TV and turned out fine. I know your babies had blankets in their cribs and your pre-schoolers played outside without supervision. But, I also know that we know a lot more now than back in your day. I know what medical research says, I know what I feel as a parent and I know what is best for my kids. Please understand that times have changed, please understand that I will take care of my children and please keep your comments to yourself. Your kids turned out okay and so will mine.

Oh, I know there are more. But it's late. If you know any others, please share!